Forgiveness vs Justice

I used to be a person who was never troubled with anger or vengeance. For me forgiveness was always second nature to me. I could never hold a grudge against anyone to a fault. My Dad on the other hand could hold a grudge for as long as he was alive. Although, late into his life, he had a heart for forgiveness.

but now I am in a predicament, because a group of people has hurt me grievously, in a very in humane manner. I have been robbed of the things I loved the most in my life. I am almost often  tempted to brood and plot revenge fantasies. Some days I sit alone and cry to myself, but the pain does not go away.

I am not sure how to deal with the hurt and the anger. I wonder if I am suppressing it by not thinking about it or pretending like it never happened. I often console myself to the thought that if I wanted revenge to be exacted on them, then how much more would GOD have to exact his vengeance on me (because I am no saint either). I am partially responsible for the acts that were bestowed on me.

Am I reaping the consequences of my actions, or should I expect GOD to do justice on my behalf… I am not sure… I struggle with it and I pray for the ones who hurt me, but its very, very difficult to be honest about that prayer.

2 thoughts on “Forgiveness vs Justice

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  1. I have a few situations in my life that mirror this. I have studied forgiveness extensively over the past year or so because I struggled so much with what you describe. One thing that helped me was realizing that forgiveness is NOT forgetting. I believe you have the concept down…but it still remains difficult, doesn’t it? I don’t think there is anything wrong with what you are feeling. I think it’s normal and God knows it is. It’s when we act on those feelings where things become dicey. We are not leaving room for God to be God and we are not trusting He will bring justice. Stay faithful. I am so sorry you have been hurt.


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