Rural Delivery

A red sports car drove up to our local petrol-pump, stopping a good distance from the pumps. The diver shouted to the attendant, “Which way to the lake?”

The attendant called back, “North to the  12th street, make a right and watch for signs”

Turning to me as the car drove off he said, “Actually there aren’t any signs, but if a guy can’t get out of the car, come over and ask you nicely, he doesn’t deserve any better directions”

At an art center, the meadow next to the park was used by a local farmer to pasture cows. One day some tourists opened the door of their car to give their dog a breath of fresh air, Seeing the cows, the dog immediately gave chase. He hit the electric fence and disappeared, howling, into the woods. After an hour of hot pursuit, the owner stuffed his unhappy pooch in the car and angrily demanded to know why the farmer hadn’t  put a warning sign on the fence. The response was, “well, I would have – if I’d known your dog could read”