The other day I made some candid confessions on my blog, but since then I had to have it redacted, because it infringed on peoples perceptions of reputation. I don’t blog to show off my often prosperous character (Can you believe how ridiculous that sounds?). I blog, because I want to show off how bad I am. I want people to despise me and look down on me. It doesn’t give me any pleasure to be loathed or abhorred by others, but I like to present myself as the human being that I am, naked and covered in shame. My deeds and my actions not worthy of mention. It’s not that I want the world to accept me as I am. I have gone past well beyond that. I do not care for recognition, but I would like to appeal to the people who have failed in life, the ones who are thinking of committing suicide, the parent lamenting the loss of a child, the mother crying out to GOD for the salvation of a lost child. The alcoholics and drug addicts who have lost all hope in life.
I care about them and I want to reach out to the rejects of the community. I want them to feel acceptable, to know that there is more to life than failure. That GOD loves them especially because they are failures and social rejects. It’s hard to explain, because I have been there and it was extremely hard for me to climb out from the socially backward trenches of misery. Therefore I want people to know that GOD understands what failure means.
Even as I write this article, I know that people look down and glare at me. They like to describe me a s a wimp, weak and fragile. The one without a back bone because I got duped by my own wife. I am not ashamed and I stand bold because GOD will lift me up and replenish the years that were lost to the locusts.
Behold Here is Your God!
28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. 29 He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power.
7 He raises the poor from the dust And lifts the needy from the ash heap, 8 To make them sit with princes, With the princes of His people.…
It is my intention to be absolutely honest about who I am so that people can witness the glory of the living GOD, because I am confident that he will lift me up and I want to be his vassal, so that can reach out to the poor and broken hearted. I want to be able to relate to them that are desolate and fringed by the notion of inescapable darkness. I would like to pray for them just like the ones who prayed for me in my lonliness