I remember a time when I was young, eighth grade to be precise. I was at this boarding school. A bunch of kids decided to leave the school that year and join some other schools in the next academic year. So the teachers and parents joined hands to throw a party for all of those kids as a gesture of goodwill to say goodbye.
The party was swell, everyone had fun, except me… cause I was not invited. I was the only one not invited for the party, out of a total of 120 students ( 3 divisions with 40 students each ). I could have easily ignored it if I was a day-scholar, but not so. I took it in stride and didn’t think too much of it. At the end of the party some superstar kid brought some crumbs from the left overs of the party. It was literally crumbs that he grabbed from some plate all squished into one big mush. He gave it to me…. and this is what I hate the most about the memory, I ate it with out even so much as a question.
Over the years the thought haunts me. I always felt invisible in a crowd of people. Things haven’t changed much, I still feel like a wall flower at work or any public gathering for that matter. People just automatically assume that I am not important, maybe its the whole demeanor I project. No one has ever banned me for/from anything but I am the manifestation of ignominy.
And He will lift up a standard for the nations And assemble the banished ones of Israel, And will gather the dispersed of Judah From the four corners of the earth.
“Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.” – Mark Twain
PS: For almost 2 weeks I have been sojourning with depression. Its loosing its grip on me now. I guess blogging helped me to vent. I don’t really write much when I am not depressed (which is depressing :) )