Outcast : That kid in the corner

I remember a time when I was young, eighth grade to be precise. I was at this boarding school.  A bunch of kids decided to leave the school that year and join some other schools in the next academic year. So the teachers and parents joined hands to throw a party for all of those kids as a gesture of goodwill to say goodbye.

The party was swell, everyone had fun, except me… cause I was not invited. I was the only one not invited for the party, out of a total of 120 students (  3 divisions with 40 students each ). I could have easily ignored it if I was a day-scholar, but not so. I took it in stride and didn’t think too much of it. At the end of the party some superstar kid brought some crumbs from the left overs of the party. It was literally crumbs that he grabbed from some plate all squished into one big mush. He gave it to me…. and  this is what I hate the most about the memory, I ate it with out even so much as a question.

Over the years the thought haunts me. I always felt invisible in a crowd of people. Things haven’t changed much, I still feel like a wall flower at work  or any public gathering for that matter. People just automatically assume that I am not important, maybe its the whole demeanor I project. No one has ever banned me for/from anything but I am the manifestation of  ignominy.

Isaiah 11:12
And He will lift up a standard for the nations And assemble the banished ones of Israel, And will gather the dispersed of Judah From the four corners of the earth.

“Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.” – Mark Twain

PS: For almost 2 weeks I have been sojourning with depression. Its  loosing its grip on me now. I guess blogging helped me to vent. I don’t really write much when I am not depressed (which is depressing 🙂 )

16 thoughts on “Outcast : That kid in the corner

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  1. Hi Prashant,
    I hope you get through this phase as quickly as possible. I’m glad that you haven’t stopped writing inspite of all. Honestly, I don’t think I could write if I was in your shoes. Never stop!
    If there is any way I could help you please let me know.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry that the whole school froze you out like that and you’d think the staff wouldn’t have allow that to happen; how rude. I can commiserate as I spent 8 years at a school where I was treated like an outsider. I grew up in a family who informed me that I was an unwanted child, a fact backed up by my mother.
    I certainly hope that you can get through this struggle. Whenever I struggle like this I have to remind myself that their bag behavior was due to their shortcomings and nothing to do with you at all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My school is infamous for such things (even though its one of the best schools in the country for the gifted children). If you have to get the attention of teachers, you have to curry them favors ( even though its a private institution). My parents didnt know any better, so it lend itself to my strange predicament. Only when you go through the experience of being a stranger in your school, can we relate to the reality of it. I sympathize with you as well and thanks for your words.


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