Let me tell you a very short story.
I once knew of a young man who asked the lady he loved so much, “what does it takes to love me?”, as he stared into her eyes, beholding the vast endless sea of beauty that flowed within.
“A lot” she replied with a smile, “A whole lot”, and she buried her head in his embrace.
Bemoaned by her response, he slowly lifted her head, gently stroking her brown hair as he whispered into her ears, “Just how much is it”?
Her breathing became heavier as she stared at his face in silence. A tear drop escaped the cages of her eyes, dancing freely down her cheek as moments turned to eternity. Like wax before the fire, the words melted off her lips, “It is very expensive”.
Hey, wait a minute. I said it was a very short story, and yes, it was actually longer than I expected, but now that the story is over, permit me to ask you this question.
What is the greatest lie you have ever heard or ever been told?
I am pretty sure we have all been lied to at some point in our lives, but there are some lies that are just too wonderful to hear and imagine. Well, I have got a few.
Whenever someone says to me, ‘Trust me’, the truth is I don’t. It doesn’t matter if you known for keeping true to your words or not, one thing I know for a certain is that, it takes one day for you to start breaking your promises and making excuses for your inability to keep your word, and I wouldn’t want to be caught in the middle of a letdown.
Also, whenever someone says to me, “I will ALWAYS be there for you”, in fact, I don’t hold my breath on that. This is not because I have an issue with trusting people or believing that they wouldn’t keep their word, it is just that, I know something, someday, will eventually take you away, and when it does, I will have to stand alone. Within me, I know it is nobody’s fault, it is just a principle of life.
Now these two are just few examples among many, but the greatest lie I have ever heard been told throughout the human race is, Love don’t cost a thing.
Let’s imagine you are in love with me.
The sound of my voice that excites you, the slow movement of my fingers across your soft skin that sends thrills and shivers down your spine, transcending you to cloud nine, or my very absence that makes you grasp at the empty wind, wishing you could get warmth and comfort by my presence. Imagine all these and how it makes you feel. Now, allow me to ask, what makes you so sure that you are in love with me, or makes you believe that I am in love with you?
Almost everyday, I listen to people who say they are in love talk about how effortlessly it takes them to love someone and cherish so deeply, and every time, I am left wondering, do they really know what love is?
Pardon me. This is not me trying to lecture you on how you should love, or what method of approach you should use, but this is me asking, how can you truly believe you love someone if it doesn’t cost you anything? In fact, I think the more appropriate question to ask is What is love?
I am not an expert on the subject of love, but one thing I do know is that love is not just that unexplainable feeling you have or that craving you get when you want someone, no, that is just your body aching to have sex and all, because love is definitely more than that. It is a deliberate act. It is you choosing to be with someone irrespective of what you see and know, hence the phrase, Love is Blind, even though most times, this blindness leads us to our own nightmares, but even with the huge magnitude of blindness, it is very illogical to think, assume and believe that love is free.
It does not matter how it is painted or presented, love is never free. If it free, then tell me, how will you measure the worth of your love for someone or something? Or you think love is immeasurable? Believe me, it is.
Don’t get me wrong, love is a beautiful and magical thing, but he who must venture into it, must be ready to bear its curse and the burden that comes with it. For it takes the whole of our strength, our time, and our resources, but with the right person, it feels normal to give them all up over and over again.
It is like you are choosing to add the burden of another person’s welfare to yours, so how dare you think it won’t cost anything? Love may be enchanting and exciting, but the reality of it is that it will demand a lot from you. If you are used to being alone, like myself, this time, you will have to share your attention with another person. If you cherish those quiet moments when you have the luxury of thinking about yourself and all that concerns you, this time, you will have to create the room to accommodate the thoughts of another person. Most times, it will put you in tough positions where you have to make choices, maybe not necessarily to prove if you actually love someone, but to give you a chance to make a statement of your love.
Love may be intoxicating at first, but its curse and the burden that comes with it is the toughest load you will ever carry, because you will realize that not only will you have to love someone else, you must also find a way to love yourself for loving that person. This is something that is clearly missing in most relationships. And after that, you must love everything and everyone that comes with that person. You realize that your life no longer belongs to you alone.
And yes, love may be the fever you wish to be infected with, but the moment you realize that its curse is no child’s play, and we begin to see it for what it really is, we will have less heartbreaks and failed relationships.
Still, it all comes down to the simple truth, love is costly. For if love doesn’t cost us anything, then we haven’t began truly loving at all.