I’ve always struggled with acceptance…..


I’ve always struggled with acceptance.  I’m afraid I always will.  I think one of the greatest fears humans experience is the fear and painful sting of rejection.  It keeps many from stepping out of their comfort zone.  It paralyzes us with fear.

Those that step into leadership positions, either by a calling or through their own ambition, immediately become targets for their own shortcomings and those of whatever it is they are leading.

The church is one place where acceptance should be found.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen.  Many have walked away hurt, confused and bitter because they have been looked down upon or treated as inferior.

What a terrible thing it is not to be accepted for who you are, regardless of how others think.  It is okay to disagree, it is not okay to judge, dismiss or take humanity from those that we disagree with.

Not being accepted is hurtful and causes anxiety.  Having said all that, true acceptance can only be found in God and his grace.  There are areas within our souls that cannot be touched or healed by others.  That healing and acceptance can only come from our triune God.

It is frustrating and not fair to ask of others only what God can provide.  Even having been a pastor for almost two years I still struggle with this.

Shawn LaRue

shawnlarueorg@wordpress.com

Author of Incomplete

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6 thoughts on “I’ve always struggled with acceptance…..

  1. Well said. It’s also hurtful when those in leadership positions in the church feed into their shortcoming of jealousy of those who are called into ministry. Instead I would hope there would be a celebration and mentorship (if one is called to have this opportunity with a particular new leader). Instead roadblocks are put up and things are said out of fear, doubt and insecurities.

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  2. I struggle with acceptance after having experienced so much rejection, particularly from social settings such as churches. I really tried to be a “like so” Christian; I used to read my Bible like so, I used to pray like so, I used to go to church like so – I tried to be like so many others and lost any sense of self in the process. I don’t think I’ve ever been accepted as me. I hardly know if anybody out there even likes me at all.
    Then I got used to it, loneliness become an ally and friendlessness was always there for me. Far more trustworthy, it seems, then actual people who say “join us” one day and “leave us!” the next. I learned to accept myself as I am and I discovered that I was awesome and proud and humble and patient and all sorts of good things that nobody had taken the time to notice and it was their loss to not have accepted me and not my loss to not be one of them. If they don’t want me, then it’s only fair that I don’t want to be part of them.

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  3. It isn’t fair and it hurts badly. We have an expectation that we are safe from judgement in the walls of the church. Unfortunately, those expectations are short-lived when reality hits. I for one struggle with acceptance issues and know only too well that no matter how hard you it won’t change the outcome. The one thing I do know is that God accepts me, loves me , and will never let me go.

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  4. I understand the hurt. In my earlier days I felt the same but over a period of time I could comprehend that God loved me, and started seeking acceptance only and only in him. Church is important and so is the congregation, but then it has to be each human to God in seeking approval. If we seek man we will be disappointed but if we seek God there is no rejection and thus no disappointment.

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