A newly married man wrote this to a computer *Data Analyst*

Dear Data Analyst

I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from *Girlfriend 7.0* to *Wife 1.0* following acceptance of the oath from the KJV Bible Instruction Manual and found that the new *Wife 1.0* program began unexpected Child Processing? *Wife 1.0* has also taken up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn’t explicitly mentioned in the _KJV instruction manual?

In addition *Wife 1.0* installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialisation at the start of each day and then it constantly monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as *”Boys’ Night out 2.5″* and *”Golf 5.3″* no longer run, and crashes the system whenever selected.

Attempting to operate selected *”Soccer 6.3″* always fails and *”Church 5.1″* and *”Shopping 7.1″* runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep *Wife 1.0* in the background…