The Gateway of the Eye


I have made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I look upon a young woman?
Job 31:1

To break a covenant in the ancient Near East was serious business, resulting in shame or judgment (Joshua 9). That’s why Job’s act was so extraordinary: He made a covenant with his eyes. He couldn’t cast his eyes lustfully upon a young woman; to do so would break his covenant of purity with his eyes (Matthew 5:28).

Why did Job make a covenant with his eyes instead of his tongue, hands, or feet? Surely, he wanted to keep those body parts pure. Perhaps he viewed sight—his eyes—as a gateway for temptation. The tongue, hands, and feet only put in motion what the mind has conceived. And often the mind depends on visual information for its ideas. And perhaps he knew that sight was the gateway for mankind’s original sin: “When [Eve] saw that the tree was good for food . . . she took of its fruit and ate” (Genesis 3:6, emphasis added). Those details are of lesser importance—the point of Job’s action is that he took willful steps to live a pure life before God. And he chose a covenant with his eyes as a way to express his commitment.

Are there any steps you can take to decrease the likelihood of yielding to the temptation to sin? Job’s example may be a good place to begin.

Guarding our hearts begins with guarding our eyes and ears.
Jerry Bridges

Advertisements

Red – Pieces (Lyrics+Video)


Once upon a time this was me. This is a shout out to everyone who got a second chance. Not all of us get to be this lucky… Most of us just fade away… lost and forgotten

I’m here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I’ve lost so much along the way

Then I’ll see your face
I know I’m finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole

I’ve come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your eye

Then I’ll see your face
I know I’m finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole!

I tried so hard! So hard!
I tried so hard!

Then I’ll see your face
I know I’m finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
So you can make me whole

Failure to launch


Don’t you just hate it when you can’t seem to catch a break. Wouldn’t you like to be the envy of people. Sadly for you, that will never happen, because you are not perfect. You will never be like your pastor or the cousin who is now the CXO of some corporation; that friend who keeps hopping on jet planes or dream to walk under the shadow of that perfect parent.   No, you are destined to be imperfect, always under the scrutiny of some watchful eye. you are the outcasts:- addicts, child molestors, murderers, prostitutes.

It’s hard, isn’t it when you put an addict  and a child molestor on the same pedestal. Can we actually forgive a murderer?

bottle-on-beach
Sin doesn’t come in sizes.  For all have sinned and come short of the glory of GOD ( Rom 3:23 )

Yet we are happy to compartmentalize.

Some people are born with a silver spoon. They are born into richness. Much like that, some of us are born with a blessed character. Doing God’s will comes natural. Just like the prodigal son’s brother.  It does not mean that GOD sees the rest of us as any different.

“Its not the sin that will condemn us or kill us, but the resignation to the faith that we  are unforgivable”

Know then that GOD cares for us the vile sinners just as much as he cares for the good fellas. Its simple, if you had two pets, one pedegreed to the highest order and the other one a rescue pup from the local canine shelter… would you care more for the pedegreed animal. It’s the same with GOD. Know this then, if your sins are many, you are likely to fall in love with GOD so much more than your perfect earthly father or your famous pastor.

Next time you are on a binge, doing your most favourite sin, don’t just stand/sit there idle, let your heart cry out to GOD and ask him for his forgiveness and your deliverance, just like the canannite women who begged for the scraps from the Lord’s table,  or the woman who loved GOD more because her sins were many. You deserve life with the full measure of happiness that GOD intends you to have. Don’t let that imperfection stop you.

I don’t think you heard me the first time. PRAY beore you commit the sin, as you commit the sin and after you commit the sin. GOD hears you every single time and he is sending you help as we speak. As long as you pray, there is hope for a better life [ever after!!!].

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” :Rom 8:1

“No Strings Attached”

PS: You should be gratefull because  you are lucky to know that you have an issue that can be addressed. The real failure is when you don’t know what your issue is. The world has yet to catchup on pride, greed, jealousy etc. It would be a shame if you were perfect in the world’s eyes, but a complete failure in the eyes of your creator.

76bfde261c689e6b07adc9c27c2b77da

 

Thrashed my 2 year old nephew


This happened 2 decades back, but it is still in the back of my mind like yesterday. My sister entrusted me to look after her 2 year old son while I was staying with them and attending school. She said she would be out for a few hours. Unfortunately, I took this as an opportunity to watch a skin flick. My nephew wanted some extra attention; he wanted me to hold him. In the heat of the moment my selfishness overcame me. I beat him hard on his thighs a couple of times and locked him in an adjacent room. He continued to cry even louder, So I went back and beat him a couple of times more.

He is currently attending an ivy league university and I am probably one of his favorite uncles. I hate myself for what I did. Sooo much…

To read more confessions visit the shaming room; Unadulterated  and penitent confessions straight from the heart

 

Narcissists Who Cry


A  certain someone in my life makes me feel guilty, somehow I am never good enough. Granted that I am not perfect; but I have to wonder and ask myself – am I that bad?  I feel like I cant seem to catch a break… no matter how much I try,  it doesn’t feel like I have done enough.

I feel distraught and lost. Like the world would be a better place sans me. I wonder if I am Narc myself. Maybe I am…

While looking up on the net, I came across a piece in an article, that seemed to resonate with my situation. (https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/03/29/narcissists-who-cry-the-other-side-of-the-ego/)

Here goes….

“Another way that the narcissist’s ego gets special attention is through the role of being a victim. Welcome to the victimized extreme narcissist. Most persons recognize ego as arrogance. At the same time they fail to see the subtle deception of ego when it takes the role of a being a victim. As kind and compassion-driven human beings, we easily are fooled by this form of extreme ego. We are constantly hearing the voices of the needy in the media through a variety of forms. The disenfranchised, the poor, the homeless, the hurting, the refugees, the abused, and the list goes on. What we often do not see is that we are many times shamed by these voices for not doing enough for them. All along it is easy to be manipulated as we respond from our hearts. The deception of the ego is that the narcissist can hide behind misfortune and victimization in order to shame you into feeling and believing that they suffer more than you do. They will say that you don’t care enough for them. They will make you feel that you have not done enough to help them. The ego wants attention, control, gain, and power over others by positioning itself as a “poor and helpless” victim. It does this; all the while it soaks up the attention and control over others. In the eyes of an extreme narcissist, their situation is always right and totally justified. Instead of taking responsibility for self and consequences, the extreme narcissist tries to make others feel responsible for their plight. Because extreme narcissists are incredibly adept at the game of manipulation, they will always find a way to turn the tables on you. They will try to make you responsible and feel guilty for not helping them or taking their side and cause.”

The thing is, I don’t know how to help myself or the object of my concern. I am not even sure if I have a good conscience anymore. I have to think twice and constantly doubt myself.

word-salad-narcissistsI feel lost and emotionally bereft, like I had fired all the rounds and they were all blanks and I don’t have anymore…

There was a time in my life when I was extremely selfish and did not care for anyone else, because addiction is a terrible thing…

I guess it’s payback now… I just have to bite hard, and wait for the pain to subside.