Listless…


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When words have lost their power;
Silence, more meaningful than asseveration
Spellbound to the conflicts of the heart
Staring vacantly into the void

Every utterance mulled over,
Petrified of rousing wrath.
Averse to the sarcasm and scrutiny.
Face downcast, ominous desolation

Exasperation spiraling to impotent rage;
Defenses broken
Helplessly witnessing the erosion –
of all things sacred.

This chasm, unbridgeable;
Veil of uncertainty –
drawn to blind the visage.
Scrimmaging to gain the –
moral high ground.

Slipping and sliding headlong
Drowning into an abyss
Past the event horizon
Hope eviscerated.

–Prashant Thomas

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Summer’s End


goodbye grave

Emotions unclasped, tolerance lost
Faint hearts, hurtful thoughts
Venom of dejection
Slowly seeping in.
Only the numbness remains

Remember how it was?
We were inseparable,
Hearts pined for the other,
Giddy with passion
When we swore our love

How did this come to be?
My stubborn spirit?
Or was it your docile and
tone deaf amorality?
Did we get played for a fool?

We were good for each other
Too good to be true
But the vein of insecurity ran deep
to be exploited by vagrants.
Putty to the curmudgeon.

Hate runs deep
Forgiveness scarce
Ruminating over intends
Questioning the sincerity
of all that was true

Revenge is bitter sweet
Quick on it’s feet
Shreds the members
Carcass for the vultures
Bitter to the very end

This place we are in
Strange and uncomfortable
We cant be together
Nor can we separate –
the bonds that bind

Where was the disconnect?
Can we ever mend this discord
Navigate the tide of high self esteem
Back to the beginning
When we were just too souls –
naked and unfettered.

— Prashant Thomas

Early Morning Cup of Joe


I received an email from my wife this morning

I just wanted to say thanks for talking with my mom. She was really happy to hear your voice. I imagine that you are eager to hear from the kids, however they don’t feel like they can talk freely to you. They are scared that if they speak freely, that you will become mad at them and then they won’t get their presents from you.

Placing guilt on them for not calling you, or writing to you is not OK. They have gone through so much and the last thing they want to do is hurt you. We all love you very much, but they were very sad that I did not receive a letter from you. They also were very sad after I read one of your emails and couldn’t keep my emotions in.
I do hope you are doing well…I have to get back to work. I am on my lunch brake. Anyways, take care, God bless.

 

I am bereft of words and I don’t even know how to process this. I thought it was best not to respond to her because every word in the email is a distortion of the truth. It’s like being cross examined in  a court and the only answer you can give is a ‘Yea’ or a ‘No’ but you have a 100 ‘buts’ trailing after each answer, but no one wants to hear that.

Breaking Up


o-parents-divorce-facebook

When I saw you step away
I didn’t think it would be permanent
I knew you would want to fly away
but never envisaged your flight to be godsend

Things that we promised each other
The thoughts that we shared
Secrets that were nobodies business,
became the talk of the marketplace

How much, we have fallen
How much have we dismissed each other
The betrayal planned and impenitent
sans guilt or compunction

A word would have been nice
A ta-ta would have been gracious
But you left me with neither
Not even a brief moment with the children

If I had to do it all over again
I would not change a line
my heart will always be yours,
but my conscience will always be mine.

No regrets, no  second thoughts
but for the tantrums & screams
of little feet and fingers
from a distant past.

— Prashant Thomas