Pipe Dreams


When you are young, you have big dreams. Dreams that place you on a pedestal where you are the center of the universe. Then you grow up and you realize that little by little they are shredded from your essence. You watch your friends reach places, but no matter what you try, your life is filled with obstacles and stumbling blocks. You try to fast track and take shortcuts only to realize that you went back three times over.

Middle age forces you to reconcile and take stock of your life. You realize by now that dreams are not for everyone and you push forward bravely, not knowing what lies ahead. You are angry, mostly at yourself for all the foolish things you allowed yourself to do. You would think that you would have learned from those mistakes by now, but you haven’t.

You are frustrated; you don’t understand how most people have picture perfect lives. They always do the right things, say the right things and they always make the right decisions. You realize that you are special. You are so special!!! The bad seed that needs to be cast away. You are everywhere, but no one remembers you. You were a wallflower at the party. No one misses you!!!

But it’s OK. You don’t have to be the life of the party. You don’t have to be remembered either. Your lessness teaches you humility. You see through the vanity. Your failure teaches you to re-prioritize, to truly understand the things that really matter in life. You don’t need the latest and greatest to adorn your ego. You may be fragile in the eyes of the world, but you learn to depend. You learn to trust in the things that the eye cant see. Even with your fragmented and perilous character, you still have infinite hope; but it’s not the same hope as before.

You learn to appreciate the lesser things in life. Your eyes become open. It sees the sadness of strangers, the madness in people, whimpers of little children, the loneliness of widows.

A little goes a long way. You want to do a little to ease their lives.

“There is hope”, you say to yourself. You rinse and repeat that mantra.

No one needs to know who you are or what you did. The small relief that you ushered into the least of humanity is your legacy.

“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew 25:40, 45, NIV).

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Failure to launch


Don’t you just hate it when you can’t seem to catch a break. Wouldn’t you like to be the envy of people. Sadly for you, that will never happen, because you are not perfect. You will never be like your pastor or the cousin who is now the CXO of some corporation; that friend who keeps hopping on jet planes or dream to walk under the shadow of that perfect parent.   No, you are destined to be imperfect, always under the scrutiny of some watchful eye. you are the outcasts:- addicts, child molestors, murderers, prostitutes.

It’s hard, isn’t it when you put an addict  and a child molestor on the same pedestal. Can we actually forgive a murderer?

bottle-on-beach

Sin doesn’t come in sizes.  For all have sinned and come short of the glory of GOD ( Rom 3:23 )

Yet we are happy to compartmentalize.

Some people are born with a silver spoon. They are born into richness. Much like that, some of us are born with a blessed character. Doing God’s will comes natural. Just like the prodigal son’s brother.  It does not mean that GOD sees the rest of us as any different.

“Its not the sin that will condemn us or kill us, but the resignation to the faith that we  are unforgivable”

Know then that GOD cares for us the vile sinners just as much as he cares for the good fellas. Its simple, if you had two pets, one pedegreed to the highest order and the other one a rescue pup from the local canine shelter… would you care more for the pedegreed animal. It’s the same with GOD. Know this then, if your sins are many, you are likely to fall in love with GOD so much more than your perfect earthly father or your famous pastor.

Next time you are on a binge, doing your most favourite sin, don’t just stand/sit there idle, let your heart cry out to GOD and ask him for his forgiveness and your deliverance, just like the canannite women who begged for the scraps from the Lord’s table,  or the woman who loved GOD more because her sins were many. You deserve life with the full measure of happiness that GOD intends you to have. Don’t let that imperfection stop you.

I don’t think you heard me the first time. PRAY beore you commit the sin, as you commit the sin and after you commit the sin. GOD hears you every single time and he is sending you help as we speak. As long as you pray, there is hope for a better life [ever after!!!].

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” :Rom 8:1

“No Strings Attached”

PS: You should be gratefull because  you are lucky to know that you have an issue that can be addressed. The real failure is when you don’t know what your issue is. The world has yet to catchup on pride, greed, jealousy etc. It would be a shame if you were perfect in the world’s eyes, but a complete failure in the eyes of your creator.

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I wish


I wish someone would have told me that the kind of pornography you’re most turned on by is usually linked to a corresponding hurtful event in your life

I wish someone would have told me that the dopamine and oxytocin being released from my watching certain types of pornography would cause me to question my sexual orientation, which in turn cost me relationships with friends.

I wish someone would have explained what “sexual anorexia” was and that countless young men are unable to get erections because they’ve been watching porn since they were around 15 years old.

 

One For Sorrow


I am the last
The one who holds on past
Clinging on something we used to have

I am the last
The one who chose this path
To walk among the world of shadows

Always one for sorrow
Never one for love
Two souls destined to failure
Right from the start

It was always one for sorrow
Never one for love
Two souls set for departure
Before the nightfall

And here I stand
Devoid of faith, bereft of hope
Unable to break the walls around me

And here I stand
Shell of a man from past
Condemned to world of resentment

It took two to summon the thunder
One to bring down the rain
Two to torn all asunder
One to suffer the pain

Two to crush dreams and wonders
One to lose everything
All once beautiful and sacred
Nothing but in vain

[Music & lyrics: Friman]