From the heart

Posted on November 3, 2016 by curryNcode

Sincerity makes the very least person to be of more value than the most talented hypocrite – Charles Spurgeon

I have been to several funerals and I have shed my share of tears, just to keep up with appearances. There was a bit of truth in my sorrow, but there was always this pressure to visibly show how I felt. So I have always questioned myself about my lack of sincerety.

When my Dad passed away, I made up my mind to be completely sincere in my affection for him. There were moments when I was almost ready to burst, but I held back; for all the crocodile tears that I had shed, there had to be some sense of justice. And so it was, to this day I haven’t shed a single drop of tear for my father.

My heart feels hardened and I don’t feel like there is any good left in me. I heard some where that we are the heroes in our own lives, that each of us can justify the actions of our past no matter how troubling or horrible it maybe. We are the product of our thoughts. I have lived my life trying to fulfill a lie, lies that I project to the wayfarers.

These days it feels more easier to exhibit myself, to reveal the ugliness of my double standards, dishonesty and wayward life. You see fake people have an image to maintain, but real people just don’t care. Sincerity and truth is basis for every virtue. So even though I am not perfect, I’d rather be known for my weaknesses and failures, because I will have received my condemnation and judgement while I’m still alive.

on a lighter side, I have a sincere story or two that may make you smile

I remember once, when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill, but instead I bought a lottery ticket for a brand new car. When I got home, I explained to my Dad what I did and he beat the crap out of me. The next day, when my dad woke up and opened the door, outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried especially me, because the car was from the electricity company, they were there to cut off the electricity, my dad beat the crap out of me again !!! 😦

I hate it when you offer someone a sincere complement on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend any more.
– Anonymous

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. -Oscar Wilde

Nothing in this world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity – Martin Luther King Jr.

listless but alive

Posted on September 30, 2016 by curryNcode

~Ecclesiastes 3:11~

The book of Ecclesiastes is well known in the bible for asking the really tough questions that we face in life. It questions the meaning of life, death. The quarrels, grudges and the fecklessness of life.

"There is no remembrance of people of old, and even those who are yet to come
 will not be remembered by those who follow the; Ecclesiastes 1:11"

A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance; 
Ecclesiastes 3:4

What does anyone gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun?; 
 Ecclesiastes 1:3

For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no 
further reward, and even their name is forgotten.;  Ecclesiastes 9:5

fateful or faithful,  I know not
for what manner of conscience
causes a man to commit perjury
or  what is the substance that causes
a man to stay the course.

sojourners on the bridge that
serves as the great divide
our paths are entwined
by the freedom of our own choosing
by the passions that rule the roost

for our decisions and our in-decisions
make for the choices we make
we are all at the mercy of the trials of life-
some enamored by their anger, malice and temper
while others tempered by the  knowledge of temperance

our fires  and our flares, nothing but  a blip
in the great expanse of time
when will we realize the ephemeral-
nature of  our volitions?
nothing!!! in the grand scheme of things.

In the end , we are but a product of our emotions
transient thoughts that capture our imagination
lascivious imagination sparking the loins for some 
while  tugging the heart strings of others to a greater cause
but we all perish for ever and our memories die with us.

But for the choicest  few
there is reason to  celebrate
for the life that we seek, is not of this world
this world is but a firmament to temper our souls-
for the joyous life ahead.

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm 
of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor 
knowledge nor wisdom.; Ecclesiastes 9:10

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in 
the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning 
to end.;  Ecclesiastes 3:11

~Ecclesiastes 7:3~

Mercy & Grace and a whole lot o’ Love

Posted on September 28, 2016 by curryNcode

This burning desire
Heart affronted by an unquenchable fire
The invitation is alluring
But the moment fraught with fear
And the road to perdition never clear

A convincing plea; forged freedom
Enamored and enraptured by the fiefdom-
Of the beast and its minions
The mist of the morn inflaming my napper
Seductive and enticing for a moment of pleasure

For whom  the bells tolls 
The tempest in my soul rolls
Freedom from the cares of moral certitude
Caught up in a tussle 
My heart awry and tousled.

As I walked down the narcissistic mine field
The selfishness of self immolation, charred my inner child
A flame lit that quenched my desire
Burning through my conscience like a wild fire,
A will-o'-the-wisp that pierced through my moral fiber

I am what I am
but HE who is greater than me is I AM 
what I thought was freedom was a prelude to extinction
HE will rescue me from the fowler
for His Kingdom is potent with power

My soul rejoices
And my spirit awaits to be rejoined
For my granter is full of mercy and grace
His love is perpetual
He will carry me through the shrill o' the night
Away from the road to perdition
to a bliss full walk through the ancient road

Written By : Prashant Thomas

Forgiveness vs Justice

Posted on September 14, 2016 by curryNcode

I used to be a person who was never troubled with anger or vengeance. For me forgiveness was always second nature to me. I could never hold a grudge against anyone to a fault. My Dad on the other hand could hold a grudge for as long as he was alive. Although, late into his life, he had a heart for forgiveness.

but now I am in a predicament, because a group of people has hurt me grievously, in a very in humane manner. I have been robbed of the things I loved the most in my life. I am almost often tempted to brood and plot revenge fantasies. Some days I sit alone and cry to myself, but the pain does not go away.

I am not sure how to deal with the hurt and the anger. I wonder if I am suppressing it by not thinking about it or pretending like it never happened. I often console myself to the thought that if I wanted revenge to be exacted on them, then how much more would GOD have to exact his vengeance on me (because I am no saint either). I am partially responsible for the acts that were bestowed on me.

Am I reaping the consequences of my actions, or should I expect GOD to do justice on my behalf… I am not sure… I struggle with it and I pray for the ones who hurt me, but its very, very difficult to be honest about that prayer.