PNEUMA


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This void in my heart
Infinite chasm, beyond repair
looking inward
where does this pain come from?

secret lies and hidden thoughts
A morbid disease of the soul
in a desert of lascivious pride
black is the color of my true love

perfidious, feckless, fickle
Vegetating in this slump
Wallowing in the wastelands
of imperfect asymmetry

Arms unfurled
I look up at the night sky
Searching, yearning for recompense
Remission for sins untold

Grace perfected,
Sweat that bleeds red
pain embraced, the agony of love
Slaughter of the lamb, forgiveness drawn
Rain falls, showers that be

where embers glow, transmuting the pneuma
this is the place of reconciliation
propitiation in place of death
humble, but exalting and exalted

 

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Beast of Burden


this-was-you
This was you at your best
You, the creature behind the veil
Why do you hide behind the smile?
your guile  & deceit,
the shame of being you
Ruminating and toiling,
The work of your hands-
denigrating the innocents.
Towards what end?
Your scribbles of poetry
on life and death
why does it matter?
who will remember?
your power and your wealth,
silenced by the face of death.
All of your glory,
decrepit and dilapidated
Even the grave,
unleashes the worms on your carcass
your bones, an inconvenience-
to the grave
I stare at the mirror,
I see you-
Bluntly staring back at me.
a scowl etched on your temperament
In the end,
what matters is the shards-
of kindness and love
that perpetuates the essence of your spirit
Not your name, not your children
but the unseen gifts of grace,
that you shared with strangers-
transmuting & transmogrifying
from  generation to generation
Though your name may never be known
and while history will forgive your presence,
your spirit will live on embodied in the culture
of men who were recipients of your love
this-is-you
This is your future

–Prashant Thomas

Listless…


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When words have lost their power;
Silence, more meaningful than asseveration
Spellbound to the conflicts of the heart
Staring vacantly into the void

Every utterance mulled over,
Petrified of rousing wrath.
Averse to the sarcasm and scrutiny.
Face downcast, ominous desolation

Exasperation spiraling to impotent rage;
Defenses broken
Helplessly witnessing the erosion –
of all things sacred.

This chasm, unbridgeable;
Veil of uncertainty –
drawn to blind the visage.
Scrimmaging to gain the –
moral high ground.

Slipping and sliding headlong
Drowning into an abyss
Past the event horizon
Hope eviscerated.

–Prashant Thomas

Summer’s End


goodbye grave

Emotions unclasped, tolerance lost
Faint hearts, hurtful thoughts
Venom of dejection
Slowly seeping in.
Only the numbness remains

Remember how it was?
We were inseparable,
Hearts pined for the other,
Giddy with passion
When we swore our love

How did this come to be?
My stubborn spirit?
Or was it your docile and
tone deaf amorality?
Did we get played for a fool?

We were good for each other
Too good to be true
But the vein of insecurity ran deep
to be exploited by vagrants.
Putty to the curmudgeon.

Hate runs deep
Forgiveness scarce
Ruminating over intends
Questioning the sincerity
of all that was true

Revenge is bitter sweet
Quick on it’s feet
Shreds the members
Carcass for the vultures
Bitter to the very end

This place we are in
Strange and uncomfortable
We cant be together
Nor can we separate –
the bonds that bind

Where was the disconnect?
Can we ever mend this discord
Navigate the tide of high self esteem
Back to the beginning
When we were just too souls –
naked and unfettered.

— Prashant Thomas

Monkey on my shoulder


suicidal depression

Darkness engulfs me like a shroud
Twin orbs searching the depths
Reaching out to tether –
with columns of familiarity

Visions of mutilated parts
The noose hangs overhead
Hate for the self perpetuates –
like viral pain

When failure becomes your friend
You wish the rest of you ¬†–
would melt away.
Is there a choice?

Killing yourselves softly
A 1000 times a day
But it’s not enough
until the deed is done.

Save me from my fears
and the darkest thoughts of her
Carry me through times
Through oblivion.

-Prashant

I fall too fast, crash too hard, forgive too easily, and care too much