Social Media Vacation


Quit Blogging

Quit Blogging

I have been spending exorbitant amounts of time blogging.  Blog promotion, reading comments, commenting the commentor.. the list goes on and on. It never stops. Suddenly I have come to realize that I am at the cusp of another addiction. So I have decided to quit for a while, get my things in order and come back when I  feel like I don’t have to feel frustrated about my blog stats.

To those on the bandwagon… I wish you happy trails. I will be back in a couple of months. I will still be posting of and on, but I am limiting to at most once a day.  I wont be  doing postaday  (Freakin addictive) anymore.

On Blogging Hiatus

On Blogging Hiatus

 

 

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In Flames : Pure Eargasm


First of all, I love every single song released by “In Flames“. The old and the new. So here is an old one. (I love the lyrics, so poetic, sad & deep). What follows is a random selection of three songs, the first one is very close to the top. Sorry I couldn’t pass this opportunity.

I can’t tolerate your sadness
Cause it’s me you are drowning
I won’t allow any happiness
Cause every time you laugh, I feel so guilty, I feel so guilty

Am I forced to have any regret
I’ve become the lie, Beautiful and free
In my righteous own mind
I adore and preach the insanity you gave to me

Sell me the infection, it is only for the weak
No need for sympathy, The misery that is me

I’ve lost the ability to pain the clouds
Cause it’s me you’re draining
I’m stuck in this slow-motion dark day
Cause every time you run, I fall.. Behind, I fall behind

And so I hear my voice again
The tale of the bitter man here I am
Shake the silence and hear what it says
The tranquil pride that become the lie

Sell me to infection, it is only for the weak
No need for sympathy, the misery that is me

Sell me to infection, it is only for the weak
On bleeding knees, I accept my fate

How far until the edge?
These wrong ways are mine
But the whole world can just go to hell
This life is killing me
My feelings inside I can’t explain
I’m awake, but not for long

The hope is still not gone
Somewhere behind the clouds
I’ll set you free if you follow me
Reach out touch the hand of God

I gave you the story of my life
Some of my precious time
But I’m tired of this
With every promise of eternal light
Another feeling dies

Athazagoraphobia


Athazagoraphobia: Fear of Abandonment

Athazagoraphobia: Fear of Abandonment

OR” leaves me to the predicament that I am in, but much to my chagrin,
I still remain confused to the day those decisions were made. This is for my kids, i.e. if you ever find your way to this blog.

You see, in India back in my day, we couldn’t get a part time job, so every bit of need or luxury that I could afford were met by my parents . Unlike in  America we didn’t have the benefit of getting loans to study through college and beyond (This doesn’t apply anymore) . There were exceptions, but I am talking about regular folk. Affording good education was  an expensive affair in India, and it generally cuts into a big chunk of money that could have been saved otherwise. There is an unspoken rule that the male child would take care of the parents. In my dad’s family, there were three male children. My grandpa taught my dad, my dad educated the brother next in line (the middle one) and he in turn (pay it forward) educated the youngest brother. The youngest brother took care of my grandparents, because he inherits the ancestral property  (i.e. the property where the parents reside.) There is a misconception that women do not get a share of the ancestral property, this is simply not true. Women do get a share of the ancestral property as dowry. The amount of the dowry is usually decided by both of the parents. In an ideal world, its a fair share.

In my case, I was an only son, so by default my parents were my responsibility. I studied in Manipal Engineering College Its by far the most expensive engineering college in India
(Notice I didn’t say the best, although it has given the world its share of CEO’s Rajeev Suri -CEO of Nokia, Satya Nadella- CEO OF Microsoft). Suffice it to say, educating me was an expensive affair for my parents and it was only fair that I would watch over them in their old age.

Enter the US citizen & my wife. She and her relatives had their own set of ideals, which were completely contradictory to every thing that was I was used to (but not so apparent when we got married). You see, their favorite verse in the bible was  “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his  wife, and the two will become one flesh.” Eph 5:31, Gen 2:24. They interpreted this to mean that I was responsible for my wife and her parents and they brought this up ever so often. We have had several fights on this little predicament that we had cornered ourselves into.When we got married we were in love and we didn’t have time to think through about the  practicalities.

And so it brewed for 14 years, until my dad got really sick and I had to attend to him. When he passed away, I was pressed with a hard decision i.e.to stay back in India and care for my mom and have my family alongside me. I had the kids attend the same school that I attended. Everything was going fine until the MIL stepped in. She raised her kids as Americans and this didn’t sit well with her (neither with my wife). Predictable there were a lot of  inconveniences for my wife. I guess I took it too lightly and hoped that she would get adjusted eventually. The only other option was to go to US with my mom tagged along with me. But then I shudder to that thought, because last time around, when my parents were visiting me in US, my wife called the  cops on them and complained that my 80 year old father was abusing her. Even the cops had sympathy for my dad,  because he was so fragile; they advised him to go back to India.

So here I am wondering should I go back to US with my family and leave my mom here,
or stay with my mom and let my family go back to US.

I chose the latter. I am still not sure if it was the right decision. I am paying a very hefty
price for that decision, because the kids (you) have been completely cut of from my life.
Do I miss my wife? Yes… but let’s leave it at that.

So, as you grew up, you would have heard a lot of horror stories about me and my family. Some of it, would be about how heartless I was to abandon my family.  I am sorry it had to come to this; I really am… and I miss you and think about you every other minute.

I could have stopped you from going to US and let your mom go back alone, but what’s a mother with out her children, so I erred in her favor.  Maybe some day we’ll see each other on the other side of hell.

abandonment

Weekly Discover Challenge

The Evolution of Style : Vegetal Patterns


Islamic Vegetal Patterns employed alone or in combination with the other major types of ornament—calligraphy, geometric pattern, and figural representation—adorn a vast number of buildings, manuscripts, objects, and textiles, produced throughout the Islamic world.

Iznik is a name of a town in western Anatolia, Turkey famous for its production of colorful pottery and tiles with floral motifs

saz-style_panel_louvre_oa3919-2-287

This is a Saz-style panel of Iznik pottery now being displayed in the Louvre, France. It seems that the Iznik tile artisans while taking their inspirations from floral and vegetal motifs, they also took their patterns from peacock feathers.

25

Drew Tal, “Regret”

“We can have all the available means of communication in the world, but nothing, absolutely nothing takes the place of the human look.”
-Paulo Coelho, Manual of the Warrior of Light, 1997

drew-tal-regret-and-tell-no-one

The Veil Illuminated : Drew Tal, “Regret” (left) and “Tell No One (right).

Vainglorious


Vanity is my name

Thy Name is Vanity

Men and women , we think we are;
spinning a facade to please the gentry.
Lives postured to assuage vanity
Born with a penchant for approval.

Boys and girls we really are;
Pouting and whining for attention.
Deceiving ourselves with trinkets and trash,
All in the guise of amour propre

Fighting for love
Loving the fight (is there a difference?)
Emotions unchecked,
We live like we own the day

Porcelain souls & primped up faces
All for a moments whim.
Never realizing,
The moment is lost to eternity.

Our corpses lie wasted,
All said and all done buried with us.
Unsubstantiated & insignificant,
Nothing ordained for posterity

We are in a mad rush all of our lives. We love and hate with passion, but in the grand scale of things, all of it pales to the sands of time. What is the real significance of our actions? Do we even have a faint memory of our 4th-5th great grandfather/ or mother? What was the significance of their lives? Their anger, pain, jealousy, love… all lost to time. So I wonder, what is the significance of the sum of our actions and in-actions?  Does it even matter?

The bible may hurt you with the truth but it will never comfort you with a lie

The bible may hurt you with the truth but it will never comfort you with a lie