Read the prayer below… I didn’t write it, but you would be surprised by the identity of the person who wrote this prayer…. Read on
“Lord, My GOD, who am I that You should forsake me ? The Child of your Love – and now become as the most hated one – the one- You have thrown away as unwanted – unloved. I call, I cling, I want – and there is no One to answer – non One on Whom I can cling – no, No One – Alone…..
Where is my faith – even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness – My God – how painful is this unknown pain – I have no Faith – I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart -& make me suffer untold agony.
So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them – because of the blasphemy – If there be GOD – please forgive me – When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven – there is much convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul. – I am told God loves me – and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul.”
Before I reveal the identity of the person, can I remind you of another short prayer made by our Lord Jesus ( Although the reasons could be entirely different)
About the ninth hour, Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli,lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?”
The tendency in our spiritual life and in generally our attitude towards love is one that of how we feel. So the totality of love is how we feel for another person. But to really love someone requires commitment, fidelity & vulnerability. Mother Theresa was not feeling GOD’s love for 50 years and she could have just shut down. But she was up at 4:30 AM every morning for Jesus, and still writing to him — ” Your happiness is all I want”
Real love, including love for our enemies is not a feeling, but a choice and commitment we make in spite of the circumstances.
I wrote this to remind myself… because I need to be reminded every day.