I couldn’t contain myself at the last instance of my wife’s email. Let me lay down the context. After repeated attempts to make contact with my children and finally I have been asking her to send me a picture of my kids, several times over, I get this reply and and I became livid with rage and so I replied back with contempt.
Since the text is small, here is the text version of it
Dear Acha,
As I read your emails I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. You probably already know, but I thought I might share it with you anyhow.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong.
Please send Mummy my regards.
God bless,
JogeÂ
My reply to my wife:
Why do you invoke the name of GOD and use scripture as a crutch to justify your actions. These verses, Â relates to the people who are suffering for Christ, Â not to the people who are suffering the consequences of their unjust actions.
It’s close to a year now…you still haven’t send me even a picture of  my children. Stop being so narcissistic,  Just don’t reply to my mails if you don’t even have the basic human courtesy of honoring the needs of a father. I need to see at least a picture of my children . What kind of a cruel  being are you ?
“Please send Mummy my regards.” and stop the pretense, Need I send pictures of the bite marks you inflicted on my mom? And I will never pretend to like your mom, after all that she did/said when she came to India (the last time around). I hope she catches gonorrhea in her throat because I hear she is making another trip to India.
You and your whole ilk are a sham!!!
With  great disdain and pretend regards,
P ( why do  you bother addressing me as Acha, I like people calling me that name if they really love me )
Not exactly a great retort or Christ like , but I just cant stand people who quote the scripture, to justify their actions.
Any advice is welcome!!!!
.
.
.
.
Update: After I wrote this reply, I felt like an immature child…. But I didn’t know what else to tell her. I am not even asking for contact, just a picture of my kids…. Why are people so cruel???
Life Less Ordinary 
Okay, first let me say, “I am not taking sides here, as I do not know the complete story of course.” I always say, “One has their side, the other has their side, and the truth lies somewhere in the middle.”
Let me begin and I will try and keep as short as I can but this is what I see in these emails.
The “Bait” – Satan absolutely sets bait for us, like a worm on a hook and we are the “fish!” First off we have to realize when we are being “baited” and when we are not. You “hate people using Scripture to justify their actions.” (By the way I do to, especially when said actions are cruel and hurtful.) That was your “bait” right there and also not receiving the pictures of your kids which was not even addressed in your wife’s email. I think that might have contributed more to your “outburst” then anything. So when we recognize we are being “baited” we need to step outside of it for some time, and not “bite the hook” right away. Satan cannot catch us unless we “bite the hook.” This is what I do: I always go back to when they were persecuting Jesus, and Jesus said, “nothing.” The silence of Jesus at that moment spoke volumes to me. He was not going to “bite the bait.” When He was being tempted on the mountain, Jesus thought things through using Scripture. Sometimes I have to go outside, get myself busy doing something, go down on my knees and pray, read Scripture, in order to obtain this. Whatever works best for you.
You made reference to the Scripture she gave that this was in reference to those “suffering for Christ:” Anytime we are being persecuted by anyone we are “suffering for Christ.” You not getting the pictures of your kids, her not sending them, this is hurting you. Christ endured these same things, in a different form and to a much larger degree. The Pharisee’s were not going to let Christ by with anything which was not written in the Torah. “Using Scripture to justify their actions.” Even to hanging Him on the Cross. This is how her response made you feel, like you were being nailed to a cross. One: We have to pick up this cross and follow Jesus. Follow Jesus to where? The Resurrection. Another: We have to unite our sufferings with His and understand when we do this, this is the only way they will ever have any value. Another: Do not waste them. Offer your sufferings for the sufferings of others. Sick children, your own children as they are suffering without their father, the list can go on and on. Remember St. Paul said, “We make up for what was lacking in the sufferings of Christ.” Christ lacked nothing but… what this means is, we share in His sufferings. It is very hard to “rejoice” in our sufferings, yet this is what we are called to do. Just being careful that Scripture does not become a stumbling block for your actions as well towards others. By that I mean, don’t become so angry that you lash out, when you think someone is using them for self gain or to hurt you or someone else. This makes us no better then they are. You and I had a difference of beliefs regarding my conversion story, but I did not “lash” back at you. I just simply stated, “These are my beliefs and you are free to believe what you want.” Our tone and harsh words can kill a soul, and the soul is the very place in which God dwells in all of us.
Name calling: That gets us down the road doesn’t it???? This goes back to becoming more Christ-like in our daily lives, and it is hard to do. I think before you respond to anything she writes you must ask yourself, “What would Jesus say and do? When you get the answer, then respond. When any of us begin to lash out, we are running off of “raw emotion.” We are all guilty of it. There are times in life I have had to just stand there and silently pray, “Lord, help me to seal my mouth.” Sometimes it works and sometimes I fail, but I keep trying.
Forgiveness: As hard as this is going to be, you are going to have to ask her to forgive you. This is not for her, it is for you. If she does or not that is completely her choice. It will be the right thing for you! You need to pray that God forgives you both, as this is what Jesus did on the Cross. When you do this, you have completely surrendered yourself to the ways of Jesus, and “completed what is lacking in the sufferings of Christ.” I also get the feeling you are carrying a lot of guilt yourself over your words, and this is the only way you are going to get out from underneath it. Hope this helps, God Bless, SR
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You are too kind…. You took a lot of effort to answer my question, thanks it helps me to put it int perspective… I have been biting the nail for a very long time. I have been humiliated and trespassed over and over and I never lashed back, but this was the last straw… Would it kill her to send me a picture of my kids…I know she is deliberately doing this while giving the holier than thou attitude. I will take your advice… I will ask for forgiveness and never bother her again. Thanks again for the wonderful advice and being very objective about it…
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I am glad it gave perspective to you. Sometimes that is all we need, but we have to step out of our own box to find it. (Remember that) Sometimes we need others to help us to get there, also.
No it would not hurt her to send you pictures of those kids! I hate it when parent’s use kids as their “battling ground” to accomplish what they want to do in hurting the “other spouse.” I see this all the time, and I think it is mean and cruel. Our kid’s are God’s creation which have been entrusted to us for their care. They are not pawns. Just always let their best interest remain in your heart, I think when you do this, your spouse will not seem like such a driving force to which you have to conquer.
“I have been humiliated and trespassed over” That is the part of our cross we HATE, don’t we??? That is the part of the Cross of Jesus, which we carry. I don’t like it either, but I know resurrection lays ahead of me.
It’s okay to be angry, even the Bible gives us the right to be so. Righteous anger is one thing as it does not lead us into sin but… “vengeful anger” is where we get ourselves into trouble. That is when we start off at the mouth and say and do things which are so not of God. We are all guilty of this as well, so do not beat yourself up too badly, just make it right.
I want you to remember, when you ask for forgiveness, if her response is not what you think it should be, that is not between you and her. It is between her and God, and you need to leave it there. The main thing is you are out from underneath the guilt you are carrying. God Bless, SR
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Thanks for the advice…you are right…. I was never the greatest husband….I deserve what I got.
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We never “deserve” cruelty but…. you made the first step, admitting “your own guilt.” Now do what you need to do from that point on, get out from under it, and healing will begin within yourself. I will also pray this will begin the healing process with you and your wife, for the sake of your children. God Bless, SR
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